start thinking like a guy in bed…plus, exercise your bajingo!

12 Aug

As I was sitting at my desk at work today, waiting for something interesting to happen, I decided to flip through a few of the many magazines one might find in an upscale hair salon. Two interesting articles caught my eye. The first was in the July issue of Self, entitled Steal His Mojo (I just mistyped that as Moho. Freudian slip…?) in which the author, Jenna McCarthy, discusses the differences between men and women in bed. First, McCarthy lists the areas in which men succeed in bed but women do not. Then, she addresses how women can actively change. Some of my favorites….

  • Men are “unapologetic” about their flabby stomachs. Apparently, this lack of self-consciousness stems from an evolutionary need to reproduce as quickly as possible. Apparently cavemen didn’t have time to check how they looked in the mirror before sex. McCarthy suggests that women “close (their) eyes and concentrate on the sensations”, as “holding in your belly impedes blood flow from the heart…which makes it more difficult to become aroused and have an orgasm”.
  • Men will literally drop everything for a roll in the hay. Women, on the other hand, are more apt to put sex at the bottom of their list of priorities. Come on ladies, you know this sounds familiar. Sure, we can get busy, but first I have to go grocery shopping and empty the dishwasher and pick up the kids and meet my deadline for work….(and the list goes on). McCarthy suggests a 14-day “act-like-a-guy challenge” (while I’m not sure this title sits well with me, I’m going to attempt to actually stay on topic, so forgive that I’m not going on a rant about the gender binary), in which one should “drop everything to be intimate”. She also suggests enlisting your partner to help you complete that long list of tasks. Now that sits well with me.
  • Men are extremely direct about what they want in bed. Apparently they’ll even make literal requests, as McCarthy says, such as “do this to that body part”. Women, however, are much more reserved, expecting their partners to know what they like. This is just silly. Unless you’re boning a psychic, you have got to learn to SPEAK UP, people. Some sex therapists recommend that each partner keep their own personal journal of fantasies and desires, and routinely “pass them back and forth”, as it’s a simple way of “expressing your wishes if you tend to get embarrassed by pillow talk”.

The second article was a short tidbit from the July issue of Glamour Magazine, entitled Umm…Would You Get A Personal Trainer For Your Vagina? Talk about a catchy title. Author Alix Strauss went all out to discover what fitness really means. Dr. Lauri Romanzi, an NYC gyno that specializes in pelvic “fitness”, spends her days teaching patients how to…well…strengthen their vaginas. According to the article, a shocking 66% of women will have painful sex in their lives, and almost 25% of women between the ages of 25-39 have bladder-control issues, both of which can be remedied by pelvic strengthening. Apparently, Dr. Romanzi teaches Kegels…but not just any Kegels, the right kind of Kegels. Strauss was even instructed to use small vaginal weights (called StepFree) to help strengthen her lady parts.

These articles definitely provided some entertainment at the desk! I hope to do a post on Kegels soon….the myths will finally be debunked!

i’m movin’ on up

11 Aug

to all my dear and faithful followers,

i’ve just been offered a position as a blogger for MySexProfessor.com. that’s right, ladies, gentlemen, and genderqueers, i’ll be blogging for a REAL sex blog. i’m very very excited and hope you all choose to follow me and my fellow bloggers on this grand adventure. also, i’m looking for a penname…any ideas? all i can think of is rosie the riveter. but that seems really lame.

curvy women are officially a drug.

2 Aug

Not just according to me! I can’t attest to the credibility of this article, as they don’t cite a whole lot of information (where/when the study was conducted, who lead the research, the official outcomes, etc), it’s more of just a summary. However, it’s still interesting.

In this “study”, of a group of men whose average age was 25 showed elevated brain activity after seeing photographs of supposedly curvaceous derriers. Not only did their brains work just a little bit harder, but the area of elevated activity was the same area that responds to rewards and the high that comes from drugs and alcohol.

So, basically, you should replace a night of drinking with a night with a curvy woman. Just sayin’.

Here’s the full article: http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2010/02/24/2010-02-24_looking_at_curvy_womens_bodies_has_the_same_effect_on_men_as_taking_drugs_study.html

Thanks to Mia for the original link!

oil spill condoms…”great for plugging holes”

21 Jul

http://www.oilspillcondoms.com

Thanks to Ariel for bringing this gem to my attention! At $5 a pop (although the price goes down with the more you buy), I’d really rather buy my own condoms and donate to the cause on my own time. But definitely a great idea, and the marketing gimmicks got a few chuckles out of me.

However, a little poking around on the site brought me to possibly the greatest joy i’ve ever found in condom packaging….

Oh yes. Ohhhhh yes. Both can be found at the website linked above.

these should be fully appreciated

13 Jul

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/29/sex-education-posters_n_629130.html#s107389

8 new phrases to write home about

3 Jul

So I was taking my daily peruse (is that even a noun?) of Jezebel.com when I stumbled upon this gem: one of the writers at Glamour magazine has come up with 8 new terms for “sexy stuff you do between the sheets”. He starts off the article by discussing some of the imagery that common sex terms conjure. I mean, I know we don’t all want to refer to sex acts by seemingly scientific names (intercourse, cunnilingus, and the works), but some of the terms we use commonly aren’t exactly, well, glamorous. For example, “eating out”. According to the writer, “this made my friend think of “a pig at a trough,” which is not the image I want girls to think of as my head dips below her belly-button”, and I couldn’t agree with him more. Here are the new terms he plans to coin:

1. “Eating out”= Treasure Hunting (or a scavenger hunt if it’s less than optimal)

2. “Come”= Finish, alternatively go/went/gone

3. “Boner”= It

4. “Queef”= Hippo Giggles (my fave)

5. “Doggy Style”= Power Meeting

6. “Anal Sex”= Lady MacBeth, and I quote, “because she’s so pushy and potentially awful, but she’s a scene stealer, and for the some, the play would be nothing without her”

7. “Pubic Hair”= Love Feathers/Plumage

8. “Lights on/Lights off”= Showtime/Mystery in Gotham

Here’s the original article: http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/single-ish/2010/07/no-more-blushing-in-bed-8-new.html

little shiloh is gender queer at age 4

29 Jun

Okay, so I realize that I’m stooping to a new low here with a gossip post, but I really do think it’s relevant to the topic of this blog. Any of you that have seen recent pictures of Brad and Angelina’s first biological child, Shiloh, would agree that they are breeding a beautiful little gender queer celebrity. According to Jolie, Shiloh dresses “like a little dude. Shiloh, we feel, has Montenegro style. It’s how people dress there. She likes tracksuits, she likes (regular) suits. She likes to dress like a boy. She wants to be a boy. So we had to cut her hair. She likes to wear boys’ everything. She thinks she’s one of the brothers.”(Full article here: http://www.queerty.com/if-angelina-jolie-says-daughter-shiloh-wants-to-be-a-boy-can-the-tabloids-20100628/#ixzz0sFbTzhwZ

Honestly, I’m not a huge Brangelina fan, but I have to give her props for being so open to how her daughter wants to identify. The truth is, at age 4, kids are exploring themselves and the world around them, and if a girl wants to dress like a guy, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything significant. Then again, it could. But who cares? Good for Angelina for being so relaxed with it.

Here are some pics of the adorable little thang:

ok...Shiloh or Ellen?

Shiloh and her sister

Just saying, that if I end up with a kid as adorable and gender bending as Shiloh, I will let he/she/ze wear WHATEVER they want!

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